I have spent the better part of the past two years pushing very hard against my mental, emotional and spiritual limits. I have engaged in difficult consciousness-raising introspection, I have taken on sometimes painful and near-breaking shadow work on some of my most insidious internal conflicts, and I have dramatically increased the deliberate management of my personal and professional life. I have changed and developed a lot. It hasn’t been easy for me or for those around me, least of all my family. And I should be more grateful for having a wife and kids that can handle and appreciate that about me.
Where I keep getting caught up is belief. I am afraid not to have belief, I don’t believe in dogmatic atheism even though I have no inclination besides occasional fear or hope to believe in any sort of personal god, and I fear that lacking an epistemelogically-sound existential footing is a serious problem.
I wonder why that is?
