The purpose of life is spiritual expansion. Let me back up: The goal of existence is to have joy, and spirit experiences joy through expansion: the purposeful and continual growth of the soul through its infinite potential. One means by which we accomplish this is through the human experience. That is why we are here. We are human by condition, but by nature we are spiritual beings living a life that is not constrained by the three-dimensional material bounds which we perceive with our human perspective. We tend to discuss growth as a linear or destination-bound pursuit, as something to be desired, sought-after, and obtained in some measure or another. But spirit exists outside concepts of attainment, of beginning or end. Spirit simply is; and is expressed in greater or lesser measure. It does not follow the cycle of striving and attainment, but rather seeks to reside in a continual state of fulfillment.
Spirit expands by fulfillment -- literally "full-fillment," if you want to play a word game -- the state of being filled to fullness. Spirit becomes full to overflowing then, like a breath, expands to full measure. That greater spirit touches more things, inspires more lives, draws in more energy from all it comes into contact with, and seeks again to be filled to fullness. This is the cycle of the everlasting soul that is the expansion and expression of the nature of divinity. The human incarnation experiences the fulfillment of the soul in terms we describe as profound and transcendent, in states of peace and knowing, in connection to all that surrounds us. That is in truth and joy. However, in order to experience the fulfillment of spirit, the human must overcome the resistance and limitations that are the side effects of the human state, the state of separateness: namely, ego. Fight it, ignore it, embrace it, whatever you choose, but you can't avoid it: Everybody's Got One. This post is the first in a series exploring ego, what it is, what it does, and how it relates to our quest to live truth.
What is Ego?
It is important to recognize that ego, the small "I," has no independent existence; this is what is meant when it is said that ego does not exist. It is an echo, a reverberation of the slow vibration of matter -- of sense organ and sensory perception -- against infinite and eternal consciousness. It produces sound. A dissonant chord rising through the physical awareness that is heard as a voice: a constant chattering, commentating, critiquing, narrating companion that guides our perception through its limited and self-centric perspective. Katha Upanishad describes this as a hierarchy of perception:
The senses derive from physical objects, physical objects from mind, mind from intellect, intellect from ego, ego from the unmanifested seed, and the unmanifested seed from Brahman -- the Uncaused Cause. Brahman is the end of the journey. Brahman is the supreme goal.
Katha Upanishad
The "unmanifested seed" is infinite potential -- the spirit that is connected to the source that sits between ego and god. Ego is not connected to the oneness of spirit from which we come. It is a side effect of our physical manifestation in this world. More accurately, it is the result of observation of distinct material objects by infinite awareness. It is the middle-man that runs interference between intellect and spirit. It is not real in the sense that our infinite spirit is real, and it doesn't see the connectedness of all things. Seeing all things as separate, it believes the self to be separate. Seeing limitation in all things, it believes the self to be finite. Seeing the death and dissolution of all things, it believes itself to have an end. At that moment, the ego becomes a the center of enlightenment unto itself, seeing the truth that the other parts of awareness do not: that identity has an end, therefore the self has an end. DeCartes echoed the mistaken realization of ego when he declared, "I think, therefore I am."
Ego, fed by sensory and intellectual input, assumes it's at the end of the chain and does not see the eternal nature of spirit, does not see that self continues after physicality passes. So when spirit begins to manifest intents of infinite expansion, ego is threatened. It sees a very simple situation. On one hand nothingness (death) stands waiting to consume identity. On the other, infinity stands to overwhelm it into virtual nothingness, for what is one next to infinity? Also nothing. This is the origin of all fear: the fear of oblivion. Even more than death, this is the one idea that the ego cannot bear, and against which it seeks to defend. But in order to understand our nature as integrated (physical and spiritual) beings and figure out how to work with ego, we need to understand what motivates ego.
An Exploration
The idea has worked its way into the collective consciousness that the human mind cannot conceive of void or infinity, but is that true or is that just what ego tells us? There are certainly a wealth of accounts -- both canonized and "amateur" -- of transcendent views of existence. I don't accept the idea that profound experience is reserved for an elite few. If there is a spiritual reason for our being here -- and most people believe there is -- then that information should be available to us. I have a technique I use when I feel like my perspective has narrowed that gives a glimpse of what I'm talking about.
You have to know your mind and all its tricks to get through this, because ego will throw every possible distraction in your way. And you cannot try to force yourself there -- force is a tool of ego and will not succeed. You have to let go of the need to control and just imagine. It will help if you can quiet your thoughts and withdraw your attention from sensory input before starting out, but I experienced this completely by accident the first time, so I don't assume you need anything more than curiosity, intention, and a willingness to experience truth.
First imagine the world without the filters of identification and objectification -- without names or "thing-ness." Now imagine that everything in your field of perception does not exist except in perception alone; everything is an immaterial, translucent shadow. If you can see through it, what lies beyond? And if you can see through that, what lies beyond that? Let your perception wander through the ghostly layers of perception until it fades to nothing. Not just a simple black slate, but a nothingness with depth and breadth so vast that it defies description. Feel the dimension of it. Now realize that you are not there. Separate your perception from what you are imagining and quietly observe that it nothing exists. Now realize the paradox of that observation, that you cannot observe nothingness because you do not exist in nothingness. Let yourself fade into the void; give in to the feeling of non-existence. This is the root of fear, but without expression as fear itself. If you didn't feel something break, keep trying, it will come. ;)
Now back your awareness up--you just realized: you are there, hovering over the brink of endless nothingness that consumed your field of perceptions. But now your perception is expanding. There is light behind you, the light of a thousand universes. And beyond the void, across an infinite expanse of nothingness, there is also light. Pull your awareness back and see that there is light above and below that is gradually stratifying into points like stars. Now imagine that each point of light is a universe unto itself. Feel the scale of this and notice now that even the void seems small, like a teacup in the ocean. Let the universes expand to full size around you as you merge with the whole, expanding into an infinite existence. Give in to the overwhelming inspiration. Notice that the feeling is the same; it is a profound realization.
Form is emptiness and the very emptiness is form; emptiness does not differ from form, form does not differ from emptiness; whatever is form, that is emptiness, whatever is emptiness, that is form.
The Heart Sutra
This celebrated line is applied to the nature of existence as well as ourselves. Form and emptiness, infinity and void are just two ways of looking at our nature. Infinity is the source from which we originate and void is the infinite space into which we are expanding. Interpretation and stratification into divergent opposites occurs within the ego, where fears and inspirations are conceived and patterned into a self-preserving structure of attachments, beliefs and conditioning. Therein lies the perpetual conflict between spirit and ego. That is why philosophies and religions have taught as a first precept the subjugation of the ego. That is why Jesus said, "And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.†(Matthew 23:12)
Living With Ego
I think there are practical problems with the subjugation approach. Namely, that ego still sits between intellect and spirit. How spirit ask to overcome ego and not get an answer that hasn't been filtered through ego? Ego is like the shadow of a candle flame. It cannot be extinguished, nor should we try as it is a product of our own light. What we need to learn to do is to integrate ego into a congruent hierarchy of perception and action that begins at spirit. In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna -- the avatar of the infinite self, tells Arjuna, " If you become conscious of Me, you will pass over all the obstacles of conditional life by My grace. If, however, you do not work in such consciousness but act through false ego, not hearing Me, you will be lost.†(Bhagavad Gita 18:58)
To become conscious in the infinite self; this should be our practice rather than the annihilation of ego. When we align our ego with our intentions for spiritual expansion, we can exercise all the benefits of its pragmatic and clever nature without being impeded by the fear and incongruence that arise by following ego. This requires that somehow, we make reconcile ego and spirit so all of awareness can work in harmony. Judging by the number of spiritual paths that have arisen in human history, this is clearly not a simple matter. I will explore this more fully in the next posting in the series, but consider this in the meantime:
If you overly esteem talented individuals,
people will become overly competitive.
If you overvalue possessions,
people will begin to steal.Do not display your treasures
or people will become envious.The Master leads by
emptying people's minds,
filling their bellies,
weakening their ambitions,
and making them become strong.
Preferring simplicity and freedom from desires,
avoiding the pitfalls of knowledge and wrong action.For those who practice not-doing,
everything will fall into place.Tao De Ching, 3
